a_white_rain: (ten/rose)
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Consistency
By: White Rain
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Word Count: 391
Rating: PG
Summary: Rose remains a consistent presence in the Doctor's life even after she's gone (or five ways the Doctor misses Rose).


i
The Doctor has no idea if the smell of Rose on his pillow lasting for as long as it has is through some sort of technology or if it's his imagination. He could find out easily enough, but waking up every time he sleeps and being hit with her smell makes him forget, for a brief moment, that she's gone and he can never see her again.

He tells himself he's not ready to give that up and ignores the voice in the back of his head that wonders if he ever will.

ii
Occasionally, the Doctor attempts to remove some of Rose's things from their room. At the very least, it's not practical for half the closet to be filled with her clothing. However, when he touches anything of hers, he'll feel her hand on his arm or her hair brushing across the line of his jaw. He'll quickly shove away or drop whatever he had been holding and walk out of the room, telling himself that he's got plenty of room and there's no need to waste precious time by cleaning an already clean room.

He knows flashbacks are a sign of depression in Time Lords as well as humans.

iii
The Doctor has always loved traveling, seeing new worlds, he's always loved the trill. The payoff was more than worth the risk. And there's nothing like the feeling of figuring out how exactly to save the world and knowing that you can or holding someone when it's over because they're the reason you kept fighting in the darkest hour.

He's never been so addicted to the way being an inch away from death feels.

iv
He's lost so much mercy. Giving out second chances is difficult when he's done it before only for it to backfire on him. There are times, though, when compassion and mercy came effortlessly to him; when Rose was there to look at him in the eyes.

He knows the only real reason he can't give more power to her name is because of his own fear of that power.

v
He doesn't want something new. He wants the life he had with Rose back. With her, he could remember that he wasn't only running, but discovering new words, ideas, and people. He had a place to call home. He could forget about how alone he felt.

He now wonders how alone he really was.
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